I don’t know why he looks like this. But he does. It’s like I gave birth to an old man.
Why is he orating?
I mean honestly.
OOhp! Serious moment.
And the senator finally comes to terms with the situation at hand. He is a baby child. Nothing he can do.
That's right. I said BABY CHILD. Deal.
...Who learned to sit today. How is this little man almost a half-year old already? I love and hate that fact at the same time. Le sigh.
For being such an over-researcher by nature, I am shocked that I haven’t done more reading about parenting just yet. Maybe that will kick in sometime. Maybe not.
My game plan thus far has been Go With Your Gut (GWYG) parenting. The only things this parenting philosophy requires are a bit of confidence, a healthy amount of patience for the trial-and-error method, and a support system to tell you “Good job, mama. You get a gold star.” Sometimes it requires wine. And dirty hair. I realize this may sound like an ignorant way to do things since we live in the age of a million-and-one how-to-raise-your-baby books. But to that I say? Meh.
Luckily, Benton has been super healthy and not an unusually fussy guy as far as I know. So the first four months haven’t been that difficult for me. My heart is growing bigger by the day, and I am really enjoying this new little person that the baby is growing into. My guess is that he wants lots of brothers and sisters, so he has decided to be an easy-going first kid in order to make way for the other littles that will come after him.
So much is new. Every day. I would rather keep my eyes on him, than in a stack of parenting books for now.
And, just look! He is doing fine:
Don't worry, the old man faces still come out on a regular basis.
We had a great time on our mama-baby road trip. But there is no place like home.
Benton is starting to be such a little person. I can’t imagine that someday he will have hands as big as his dad’s. I wonder if they will have scars and stories to tell. Will they have grease under the nails? Will he be a handy man like his Grandpa? Will they be smooth hands that prefer the pages of a book like is Dad’s? Will they play the piano like his Uncle? Expertly change diapers of his own babies?
GAH. I can’t even think about the last one.
Sometimes it is easier to be funny.
Sometimes people are so sarcastic and ironic and FUNNY, but I wonder what is underneath it all. If they have to be honest and serious about something, it is clear they are uncomfortable. People will lean in and wait for the punchline, and then avert their eyes in hopes of a distraction when they find there isn’t one.
I struggle with this myself.
This is not to say that authenticity and humor can’t mix. I have many hilarious friends that are genuine people. But it is also possible to be honest without revealing everything.
I’m often guilty of just giving out just a taste of my frosting layer. I enjoy this layer, and it has the power to sweeten someone’s day or make people laugh. That can only be a good thing. It’s all truth, and sometimes light and fluffy, but very rarely will you get the cake.
It makes me wonder how many people I really “know.” Probably less than I can count on one hand. How can I get to know people better? And let people know me? Why is this so difficult?
…Anyway…
Something new is pulling at me. Only it doesn’t feel new. Like something that was always there that I am just now discovering. You know how you never notice a certain kind of car until you buy that car? And then you see it EVERYWHERE? Or upon learning a new word that you’ve never heard before, you hear it 16 times that week? You become tuned into something new that you’ve never noticed before, and suddenly you are surrounding. Well, I am feeling that. But bigger.
I don’t know what to do with it at the moment, and I haven’t talked about it with anyone. I just have a gut feeling that is telling me what I’m supposed to do. It is by no means a solid idea, and the fragments are just beginning to meld. It’s merely a direction, not an end. Someday it may become something real, but at the moment it seems far beyond my reach. I need to be stronger first.
Sorry for the cryptic post, but I needed to put some of this mind swirl into words for my own sake. No need to worry over my tormented soul, I am just fine. Just a bit swirly.
In lighter frosting news, I am going on a road trip with Benton tomorrow. We are visiting some friends in Indianapolis, and I get to meet another blog friend face-to-face this Saturday! Wouldn’t it be nice to take a year and visit everyone that lives in your RSS feed in real life? Sounds like a good project to me.
I leave you with a couple of pictures of cats in sun. And a baby I get to see tomorrow in Indy. DRESSED AS A PINK CAT. Frosting for everyone! I hope your teeth hurt.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged baby costume pink kitty, deep thoughts, frosting, nablopomo, photography
I have a learning: Do not wait until there are only 59 minutes left in the day to begin writing the day’s post.
Dribble. Durr. And Murp.
Luckily I have pictures from what I thought was going to be a baby-mama-nap session.
Naps are for suckers!
Tummy time is most tolerable on a mama tummy.
He just doesn't look like a four-month old human to me.
And then we went for a walk. In the stroller for a change.
B, wave to the camera from your cute bundle nest of a stroller.
Right after that was taken, he informed me that he hated the stroller at that moment. He wanted to be carried for this walk, so I used my newly muscled mom arms to do just that. He talked and cooed and commented all the way home.
I don’t keep a baby book beyond this blog, and I haven’t really been keeping track of all the milestones. But there are certain things I don’t want to forget about right now. So. This next part is notes for the future me that wants to remember what was going on with little 16 week-old Benton.
Posted in baby
Tagged 16 week old, baby, fall, milestones, nablopomo, photography, walk
Is it possible that Benton James will be three months old on Saturday? I have no words.
<3
I. Love. Crunchy. Leaves.
LOVE.
If you are a pile of crunchy leaves, prepare to meet my stompy foot. I can’t help it. You’re asking for it, just sitting there being all colorful and crunchable. I’m looking forward to teaching Benton about this. Hoping he uses two stompy feet and jumps on them repeatedly. Because that would make his mama proud.
For now, I was the active member of our early fall walk yesterday. B slept like a good baby, and I took photos. 900mb of photos in just an hour.
SO. Let’s just say I had a good time. Clearly.
It was one of those things I did just for me. Which is so so so important.
More here. Are you on Flickr? Let’s be friends.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged beach, Daily Picture, fall, loyola park, photography, rogers park
I confess that may be misrepresenting the baby at this point. I would say he has gone from 100% furrowed all the time, down to only 50%. It’s pretty easy to get a smile out of him these days. He thought folding the laundry was a riot today. His fussy hour is even less fussy if he has the right amount of entertainment or socializing. But I couldn’t resist posting these preciously serious furrowed brow shots.
Because what if the tiny furrow disappears all together? He changes so fast. I will surely miss the concerned looks if he grows out of it. I guess I will just have to have another baby then. 
Speaking of which, if you are a parent of more than one kid, how far did you space them out? Did you have a plan? Lack of any plan? How many years in between children worked best for your family? Should I be concerned about lack of bedrooms or just make it work? If you don’t have more than one, but plan to, what factors are you waiting on before trying to get pregnant again or adopting a second baby?
Don’t get all excited/worried about me just yet. I have some one-on-one time I want to spend with the sweet baby I have napping on my lap. I’m just curious about what makes people take that big step into having more than one kid. Do tell.
I’m so thankful that I didn’t suffer any blues or PPD as some moms do. The only blues I am dealing with are these.
I am about 95% sure they will start turning brown in a bit, so I have to get some staring time in while they are still here. Not that I won’t love the brown eyes. Brown eyes are clearly awesome.
I want to dive into them. We spent awhile memorizing each others’ faces this afternoon. I realized that I have been taking too many crappy cell phone pictures because that is easier. So I got the real camera out and got in close. Because he changes SO FAST.
I always figured that I would think my baby was cute (as any mom does), but everyday I am astounded by how many hours I can spend staring at him in awe. How did he possibly come from me? Is he really here? Was he really NOT here at some point? Whose lips are those? Will they smile at me if I act like a fool for him? These are the burning questions of a new adoring mama.
Posted in baby
Tagged 9 wk old, blue infant eyes, close ups, cute baby, mommy goggles, photography
I felt so good today. I didn’t have any of those nervous new mom moments with the little man. Things just came naturally to me, and we moved through the day with ease.
I didn’t have to think about how to get him into the ring sling. It didn’t take more than a couple of seconds, and I didn’t use a mirror. My body and mind had memorized the process. And I just did it.
I didn’t need to carefully orchestrate the order I needed to do things to get him in and out of the car. I just did it.
There were no worries about getting him ready quickly before we left the house. I just did it.
I wasn’t nervous about feeding him around other people. WE just did it.
When he needs something, I have it.
When he sees my face, he knows who I am and responds with a grin if I am lucky.
Since I finally felt like I knew what I was doing all day, I’m starting to feel like a good mom. Whatever that means. I want to try some new things with him this week that push beyond the boundaries of my comfort zone. Because I should take advantage of this confidence, before he kicks my butt with some new stage I haven’t figured out yet.
What should we do?
—-
I am posting the following pictures that my mother-in-law took during their visit last weekend because I owe Justin some blog love and JUST LOOK AT THE CUTE>
Posted in baby, Uncategorized
Tagged 9 week old, baby, confidence, learning curve, new mom, photography
