Tag Archives: justin

Dad Hands

We had a great time on our mama-baby road trip. But there is no place like home.

Benton is starting to be such a little person. I can’t imagine that someday he will have hands as big as his dad’s. I wonder if they will have scars and stories to tell. Will they have grease under the nails? Will he be a handy man like his Grandpa? Will they be smooth hands that prefer the pages of a book like is Dad’s? Will they play the piano like his Uncle? Expertly change diapers of his own babies?

GAH. I can’t even think about the last one.

Decadence

{I’m thinking to myself how much I want a bowl of cereal before bed. I used to get a bedtime snack for years when I was little me. Usually Cheerios with honey on them.}

So I ask Justin, “Did you get bedtime snacks when you were little?”

“I used to get a big mug of hot tea and then put lots of sugar in it to make sweet tea. Then sometimes some ice cream.”

“…What?”

“Yeah. Then I would take it to a bath and read a book. I was in middle school.”

*maniacal laughter*

“You’ve never read a book in the bathtub while eating ice cream? It’s pretty sweet.”

“No.”

“That is how I learned the word DECADENCE. My mom told me, ‘You know that is a very decadent thing you’re doing.”

*omg bahahahahh*

What kind of middle school boy reads in the bathtub? I wish I knew him back then. Hilarious.

Guest Post: First Things

Hi, this is Megan’s husband, Justin.  My wife has graciously leased me a tiny corner of MegaGood territory so that I can ramble a bit this afternoon.  I am entirely too inconsistent and self-conscious to build my own spot, so I applaud all of you–especially my wife–for having the courage to share so much in this medium.  You guys (girls?  ladies? moms? dads? cats?) rock.

Here’s a list of First Things that I look forward to seeing/experiencing with my son and my wife.  Feel free to add your own in the comments–things you would look forward to, or things you really remember from past experiences.

The list is in no particular order and I left out many of the obvious specific ones, like hearing him talk or seeing him walk.  I made this list because I am absolutely mind-$#*&^$ by the concept of re-experiencing “Firsts” through the eyes of my kid.  It’s long, and not really funny, and there’s no great pictures, but maybe Megan can edit.

Firsts!

  1. He reads his first book. This has a special meaning to me because reading has played such a huge role in my own life.  For as long as I can remember, the written word has been a refuge for me in introvert re-charge times and the catalyst for my imagination.  I can’t wait to see him journey into that world himself.
  2. He consciously enjoys the presence of a large family party. I’m not going to lie, my wife and I have pretty large family gatherings from time to time and they are always an awesome time.  I never really appreciated how nice it was to have consistent contact with extended family until we all moved apart.  To see him begin to love and recognize them as we do will be amazing.
  3. He competes for the first time. There’s two parts to this really.  I will love to see him work hard for something and succeed.  Maybe even more, I look forward to seeing him lose at something and learn how to handle that well.  It’s cliche but that doesn’t make it any less true.  Winning is good, but having the character to get back up after losing is better and a lot more useful.
  4. He makes his first real friends. You know what I mean.  Those friends that are as close or closer than family.  The ones you don’t call for months, then see, and nothing’s changed even though everything has.  Hopefully he’ll get into less trouble with his than I got into with mine, but he’ll know they’re in it together no matter what.
  5. He makes his first real contact with nature/animals. This is the Colorado in me.  Growing up in Chicago, he won’t have the instant access to the same world that I did.  But there is something visceral, spiritual, and incredibly important in seeing the beauty of the outside world and realizing the miracle that’s out there.  I hope we can help him see it.
  6. He watches Star Wars with him for the first time. Or LOTR—any of the nerd subjects I like.  I know there will probably be a lot of nerd interests he doesn’t share, but everyone likes jedis, right?  Is he going to like Han or Luke?  Maybe he’ll be a weirdo that liked Chewbacca best.  I’ve already called dibs on dressing him as Yoda for Halloween while he’s too young to know better.
  7. His first romantic interest awkwardly stumbles along. I imagine this falls into the category of “things I’m not supposed to know about” as far as he’s concerned.  I know his early interactions will be full of heartbreak and an irrational attachment of importance.  I know that seeing him hurt will hurt me too.  I hope I can help when he wants it.
  8. He shows empathy and compassion for someone he doesn’t know. Such a basic thing, but still something that I know will affect me deeply when I first see it in him.
  9. He moves out! “Hah!” you say.  “You haven’t even changed diapers yet, you have awhile!” you say.  True, but I can only imagine that moment as a supreme mix of pride and pain.
  10. My wife teaches him..anything. I picture this as Megan teaching him to draw, paint, or shoot pictures.  I see him learning from her, picking up the amazing gifts that she has.  Everything he learns will be coming at him from two angles, two experiences, and I can’t wait to get to know Megan better through the ways she teaches Baby Boy Boley.

Home Sweet Home

Schween Boley’s dad arrived home last night. She is beside herself with happiness. *Armpit Head Kerplop*

The Xbox is finally fixed after months of being idle. So this means some quality #1 Cat Dad time for Miss Schween. All is right in her world.

Pants (and shirts) on the Ground

I have not been doing laundry. Instead it turns out I’m only sort of doing laundry. I will start a load, and then fall asleep or act pathetic, and then Justin ends up finishing the job. Because the basement floor is cold, and I am kind of exhausted. Sometimes it gets folded, but more often it just kind of hangs out in a pile. It is really a sad situation. I don’t know why I am admitting this publicly, because I am not one bit proud it.

I think what I meant to write about here is what a good man my husband is. He has been in charge of a lot of the chores that I lost all motivation and energy to do during the first trimester. Luckily, I am feeling a bit more industrious in the last week, and even have little nesting urges here and there. I am hoping these urges turn into an all out hormone-fueled cleaning rampage for the rest of the pregnancy, because I really do like a clean house.

In the mean time I know I can count on Justin to make sure we aren’t living in a barnyard and eating off of last week’s pasta-sauce-crusted plates. The trash will be emptied. The litter box will be managed. Dry cleaning is dropped off and picked up. We won’t be wearing dirty underwear. And if we are out of hot sauce, toilet paper, or detergent, Justin is likely bundled up and walking to the Bodega.

I think I have really hit the jackpot. Help with the chores is great, but keep in mind that he is also going through his last semester of law school, bar registration, interviews, and a clerkship without showing any  signs of stress. Does he complain? No. The only thing I hear is how much he loves his job. I THINK HE IS MAGICAL. I would seriously be balled up in a corner if I had to deal with all of that. Add a pregnant wife to the mix and I would be balled up on the street corner.

He has also thought up a theme for the nursery, talked about names endlessly, and discussed his excitement for being a dad on many occasions. The importance of camping and introducing the little one to animals has been talked about endlessly. I think he even admitted that he is not scared one bit of dirty diapers. (I just saw him catch a cat puke in mid-air last weekend without flinching). Last weekend, there was a possibility that we would purchase a station wagon, and the man was thrilled. It is seriously his dream car. (edit: “It was a TURBO station wagon, I’ll have you know..”)

He tells me I look cute even though I am a bit round (in the face and the belly). My coat has to be buttoned to keep the baby warm. Any anxiety I have, he calms. Bedtime is at 10, and he feels really bad if I am up past then. He doesn’t judge me for eating salt ‘n vinegar chips everyday for the last 3 weeks. He wants to know when the baby can hear him so he can start talking directly to my belly. And if he gets himself a bowl of ice cream, he knows to scoop for two because I will be stealing half of it. I could write ten more pages like this, but I will spare you.

I really don’t mean to brag, but obviously I think he is the best. He should teach husband classes. With fatherhood just around the corner, I can’t wait to see how he fits into that new role.

I feel so lucky to have him as my partner.

Aversion to Aversions

I guess it is no surprise that my first real post pertaining to my pregnancy is about food.

I thought it might be something deeper about becoming a parent. Or my fears and hopes? How awesome Justin is? Or the intensity of my “baby fever?” I guess that will all come out in good time. But today I want to talk briefly about food.

Before we get too deep into Nutella and pickles, here are the answers to the questions that I have found people will inevitably ask:

  • Estimated Due Date: July 24, 2010
  • We will be finding out whether Baby Boley is a boy or a girl at the end of February or beginning of March at the “big” ultrasound. We already had a “little” ultrasound and saw a very tiny, very fast little heartbeat.
  • We will be moving to a new apartment in our current neighborhood or somewhere nearby on June 1. There are no plans for the burbs just yet . There will not be cat litter in the new nursery.
  • How do I feel? Well, to sum it up in a bullet point: Surprisingly Good. I will probably get into that more later, but I have not been plagued with much nausea or puking–beyond the public display in front of the deli at State and Lake last month–so I feel extremely lucky in that department.

Back to the food.

My first craving: Before I even knew I was pregnant, I really wanted marshmallow fluff and peanut butter sandwich. A Fluffernutter if you will. If you haven’t had one of these, I think you are missing out. But on the other hand, you are also missing out on a ton of calories and sugar, so good for you. But still, you are no fun at all.

This Fluffernutter craving seems like something that a typical pregnant lady might want, right? Not a big surprise there. Everyone “knows” at least two things about pregnancy thanks to TV or movies. #1-Pregnant ladies eat weird stuff and crave things like pickles and ice cream. #2-They have morning sickness. Those two things may or may not be true for everyone.

But most stories of pregnant women on the big (or small) screen have left out the million- and-one other symptoms and weirdness that goes along with growing a tiny human where your other organs used to reside. I guess that constipation, heartburn, and hemorrhoids are not as cute. Fatigue, acne, and nasal congestion are not romantic. And expanding thighs, bloating, and gas wouldn’t make even the sexiest starlet seem very attractive. So, they just aren’t really featured much in pop culture or entertainment for obvious reasons.

However, these lessor known symptoms are featured on the many websites and books about pregnancy that exist today. If you want to discuss your pregnancy related gastrointestinal issues at length, there is a message board (or hundred) for you!* But the only people reading those books or websites about pregnancy are other parents or parents-to-be. So it is understandable that morning sickness and cravings are the common questions that arise when it comes to how the mom-to-be is feeling. And I suppose I am OK with that. Because someone approaching me to inquire about my fat thighs or bowel movements is going to be sorry. Unless you are my mom, and then you get to know all kinds of unsavory details.

ANYWAYS, back to FOOD. So one thing that I wasn’t totally aware of were the food aversions that can occur. Like I said, I have been pretty lucky to avoid many of the nasties on the pregnancy symptoms list thus far, but food aversions was one that hit me hard. And for someone who clearly adores food, this is a sad situation.

For the first couple months, EVERY FOOD sounded gross and smelled worse. The thought of eating meat was less appealing than licking a stranger’s armpit on the train. Chicken was the enemy. Ground meat–so incredibly foul. Blue cheese and I had a very bad break-up after Justin put some in the microwave and stunk up the apartment for some god awful reason. Vegetables were off the menu. My daily Boca and Morningstar burgers were banished. Milk=blech. Needless to say, planning ahead for a meal or grocery shopping in advance of–oh let’s say 20 minutes was worthless.

My only savior was that each day, one specific food would pop into my head and become the one and only good thing to eat. The following day it would be likely be exiled with the rest of the lot, but for a brief moment it was amazing. Justin spent a lot of time at the local Bodega with a list of ingredients that were extremely important to find. I would have starved without him.

Luckily, my stomach became more accepting of other meals around the week of Christmas. I am now eating well and often, so no worries. Food is no longer a foe. We are such good friends again, that I have been open to such unconventional combinations such as this:

Yes, those are Hot n’ Spicy Cheezits on top of vanilla ice cream. It was awesome.

And in other non-pregnancy news, Justin’s nighttime reading now involves several books to learn more than anyone would want to know about bankruptcy law. Schween is “assisting” in this endeavor and runs to bed when she knows it is bankruptcy time. Here are my cute little freaks at bedtime:

Someday in the near future I promise to post a bedtime picture that involves Dr. Seuss and a child rather than a law-book and a poorly proportioned feline.

*I don’t recommend hanging out on pregnancy message boards unless you want to become paranoid beyond belief. They are a scary place.

Really Sappy

Totally mushy.

Completely gaga.

If you can get a small garbage can, that would be great. A toilet would do fine as well. I would highly advise that, because I’m quite sure that you will gag/barf if you continue reading.

So, we are approaching our third wedding anniversary this Labor Day weekend. I can’t say that every single day of marriage has been hearts and rainbows, because that is impossible. If anyone claims that, they are liars or actors. BUT, I can say that most days, I feel like we are the luckiest people this side of the Mississippi.

When we met, we were both very different than we are today. It is obvious that you and your partner will change and grow over the course of a longterm relationship. As we change, we meet up again in the middle and decide that we still sorta-kinda like each other. A lot. This is a strange thing to me. The two people in this marriage today are far different from the two people that met 6.25 years ago, yet it still works. And it feels like it is getting better.

I am sorry, this is reeeeaaalllly mushy. Are you dry heaving?

I hope that as we get older, and become new versions of ourselves over and over again, that we still continue to re-bond as a couple. We are doing pretty well so far. And I just can’t get enough Justin right now.

Like I said, I just feel lucky.

Do not barf in the lucky penny wishing pool.

081209

Love Love Love

Please refrain from eating this. I know it is delicious and awesome. Get your own.

Please refrain from eating this. I know it looks delicious and awesome. Get your own, because I am in love with this one.

Ice tea is sweating in the sun. I am not. I love the bright burst of jeweled light at the bottom of a sunny patio beverage.

Iced tea is sweating in the sun. I'm not. I love the bright burst of jeweled light at the bottom of a sunny patio beverage.

And sprouts. I love sprouts. Piled them high on a sandwich with fresh home-grown tomatoes and spicey mustard and I will love you forever.

And sprouts. I love sprouts. Piled them high on a sandwich with fresh home-grown tomatoes and spicy mustard and I will love you forever.

And buffalos! Love them. They also seem to love themselves. Love for all.

And buffaloes! Love 'em. They also seem to love themselves. Love for all.

Firework leftovers! Less love for these. And the people that just kind of left them on the ground. I guess the love affair was short lived. "These violent delights have violent ends And in their triumph die, like fire and powder, Which as they kiss consume."

Less love for these. And the people that just left them on the ground. I guess their love affair was short lived. "These violent delights have violent ends And in their triumph die, like fire and powder, Which as they kiss consume."

Don't know what this is but I love it.

Don't know what this is but I love it.

George's Iceream and Sweets on Clark. It is a new place that is a welcome addition to the Andersonville strip. Who doesn't like icecream shops that also serve Illy coffee and are nicely decorated? And the logo of the little red guy on the barstool with a double scoop? Love him.

George's Ice Cream and Sweets on Clark. It's a welcome addition to the Andersonville strip. Who doesn't like ice cream shops that also serve Illy coffee and are nicely decorated? And the logo of the little red guy on the bar stool with a double scoop and poo-shaped hat? Love him.

Am I over posting flower and foliage shots since it isn't spring anymore? No, I still have mega foliage love.

Am I over posting flower and foliage shots since it isn't spring anymore? No, I still have mega foliage love.

Excuse me while I make-out with any flower that is attached to a curly vine clinging to a fence. Just wake past and ignore us, please. We are in love. There is just something about climbing vines that gets to me.

Excuse me while I make-out with any flower that is attached to a curly vine clinging to a fence. Just walk past and ignore us, please. We are in love. There is just something about climbing vines that gets to me.

Just in case you were counting the amount of times I used the word love, you are correct with your tally of 354677324. I’m just excited that it really feels like summer. At least for today. Lightning bugs are blinking right outside my window, but I don’t have a tripod yet so there aren’t any photos to mark this happy occasion. I might go set the camera on the front steps to steady it and see what happens. Likely, all you would see is a really long exposure of nighttime grass with a smattering of dead patches from all the dog pee.

Some of the photos posted above are from our neighborhood scouting in Rogers Park. It has it’s good spots. But it is safe to say that I would be megapleased if we could someday buy a place in the Andersonville/Ravenswood/Lincoln Square area.

Today, I told Justin that sometimes I feel like a crazy person with no plan. So many things about our life are up in the air at the moment—waiting in limbo until law school ends. Since he was some kind of monk in one of his many past lives, his wise response was

“no one ever knows what will happen.”

Hmmm. Damn it, he is right.

Patience is a virtue that I am still working on. I think I might be working on it for my whole life. The next year or two will be very exciting and confusing times. He will be graduating and we will find out if we can stay in Chicago or if we are moving elsewhere. My fingers are crossed for Chicago, but I am learning to have an open mind about other possibilities. As the end of school comes into sight, I find myself giddy, thrilled, nervous, and also trying to plan for a life that I cannot yet predict. Have you ever read a “Choose Your Own Adventure” book? That about sums it up, only I can’t cheat and flip ahead to read all the options and outcomes.

I need to work on becoming more like a monk and less like a kitten on catnip that wants to lick the butter you left out on the counter when you were making muffins.

Deep breaths.

And lots of love.

Ugly Food

Justin and I spent the past few days pretending we were going to buy a place. This was a fun game for me, since one of my favorite things to do in Chicago is just wander around aimlessly. However, Mr. Boley hates aimless wandering. But since we were “scouting” neighborhoods, the wandering transformed into a mission with an objective. He is much happier this way.

There was also food. Ugly, colorless– and yet delicious–German food. Since we were in Lincoln Square for one of our scouting missions, we decided to try the Brauhaus.

Looks safe and germany from the outside.

Looks safe and Germanish from the outside...

..on the inside it ws like a red-light carpetted german cafeteria decorated in the 70s.

..on the inside it was a dimly lit carpeted German cafeteria decorated in the 70s.

Sprechen Sie Delicious?

Sprechen Sie Delicious?

all aestetic treacheries were pardoned the second that the jars of horseradish and mustard were delivered. I then proceeded to top my schnitzel with this mana from german heaven. This was one of the most comforting and delicious meals I have had in a long time.

All aesthetic treacheries were pardoned the second that the jars of horseradish and mustard were delivered. I then proceeded to top my schnitzel and bratwursts with this manna from German condiment heaven. This was one of the most comforting and delicious meals I have had in a long time.

I was so happy with the meal, that I looked on the internet to see if my company has an office in Germany. Just in case. YES! Frankfurt. I could do that. And maybe change my middle name back to Hochstetler? I would consider it.

Conundrum

The squeals you just heard were from Amber and Jordan. Amber is the cutest copywriter this side of the Mississippi and just drank a quadruple shot of espresso; she is pleased to see the word CONUNDRUM used in bold font. Jordan is pissed that I still have a springtime masthead at the top of this page.

Here is the problem I have been wrestling with. I read about a million blogs these days, ranging from news, to cute animal updates, food blogs, and personal sites that belong to my friends or people that I pretend are my friends. Some of these blogs divulge deeply personal information about the author, their friends and their family. Others are more externally focused, yet still provide candid and honest commentary on their observations, views, and just “what’s what.” I won’t go into lengthy detail, but I am struggling with how much to reveal about myself at times. Honesty and authenticity are extremely important to me, but so is self-editing. It is a tricky line to walk.

Yesterday’s DPH is a secret. Sorry.

Yesterday’s other moments of happiness were not photographed. For instance, when I was making dinner last night, I had my hair pulled up in braids and piled on the top of my head since it is finally long enough to do so. My husband walked past on the way to the fridge and commented on how pretty my neck looked with my hair up. After being with him for years now, I have been told that I am “pretty” many times. It is always nice to hear, but I don’t fully accept it since he kind of has to say it. Sometimes a more specific or unexpected compliment–such as the one in the kitchen last night–is all I need to really believe he still finds me beautiful. It is a little thing that I will remember for a long time.

Another thing that gets me is when we are sitting on the couch together “watching TV.” Sometimes we will both be on our laptops as well. I am generally not paying attention to the show that is on and will be reading a blog instead. If it is good writing, I will bust out in occasional laughter. Justin thinks that I am laughing at something on the TV, and simultaneously busts out laughing with me without thinking too much about it. Is that called empathy? Whatever it is, I love it.

Here is my third string DPH's for the day. I am really into flower arranging according to Dr. Suess.

Here are my third string DPH's for the day. I am really into flower arranging according to Dr. Seuss.

I love the coral-looking branches.

I love the coral-looking branches.

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I also got these from the local flower shop. Fake moss rocks. Really a big fan of these, even though they are likely made of something really toxic from China.

I also got these from the local flower shop. Fake moss rocks. Really a big fan of these, even though they are likely made of something really toxic from China.