Things are not right.
Just…off. It’s weird how stuff can unravel all at once. This usually doesn’t happen, but I guess that’s how life goes sometimes. I don’t want a pity party. I just want to fix things, but much of it is out of my control.
Since I am striving to stay positive, I have taken up a new hobby in escapism. Heh. It’s called Pinterest. It’s like they invented this site with me in mind. Adore. You can see my virtual pinboards here if you feel like stalking me. Anyway. It makes me happy and inspires me when stuff is crummy.
Yesterday, I completed the most ridiculous errand I have accomplished to date. The sick mama took the sick cat along with the sick baby to the vet.
We parked on the street because that is the only option. There was 4ft of snow and no curb to speak of along the street, so I could only open the passenger doors of the car about 14 inches max. I squished in between the horrid snow bank and vehicle and stood in 3 inches of cold slush while somehow getting the baby out of his seat and into the Ergo carrier. Then I went around and sat in the driver’s seat while wearing him. Somehow I got the cat carrier out the driver side door with me, all while the buses whizzed passed us just 2 ft from my open door. I should really draw a picture. All I could think of as I crossed the street was my friend Erin. I repeated to myself:
please don’t fall, please don’t fall, please don’t fall. I pictured the cat carrier busting open in traffic and a baby covered in dirty slush as a CTA bus ran over my foot. LUCKILY THIS DIDN’T HAPPEN. We made it inside safe and sound.
I can barely lift the cat carrier while also carrying Benton because my lower back is in so much pain. I can’t bend more than 45 degrees without dying. Justin is out-of-town this week for the 3rd week within a month, so I am solo and don’t have an easy way to do a chiropractor appointment for 5 more days.
So. Luckily Benton was an angel during the whole vet appointment. He giggled as I stood smashed in between the filthy snow bank and nasty salted car while I struggled to get him free of the vehicle. He only looked vaguely concerned when a vet tech had to be called into the exam room as Porpus turned into a wolverine and needed to be handled with a blanket and leather gloves. It got loud in there. She was a raging bitch. I don’t blame her.
He is so sweet to keep smiling through his sickness. He makes me feel better when I hear that grandma isn’t doing well or kitty has to go on meds for life. I am not as lonely at night when Justin is gone because I can spoon the sweet baby. My sore throat doesn’t hurt as bad when he reaches out for me.
This morning he decided that jumping on my bladder would bring back fond memories of when he was an easy-to-care for fetus baby. Thanks for being so sweet, little B.
So like I said, I don’t need a pity party. If anything, just chime in with me. Things I am currently telling myself include: This too shall pass. It’s just a rut. People have it way worse than you. You are lucky. Things will balance out…etc..etc…
